Tuesday, September 29, 2015

New York Nutter Files Stupidly Large Lawsuit Over Dog Bite, Chinese People And Overpriced Coffee

Anton Purisima, a New Yorker known for filing abnormally large lawsuits over trivial things (even by American standards) and generally for being nuttier than squirrel sh!t, has achieved what is probably his lifetime ambition of filing the world’s largest lawsuit.

Apparently, before he was overcharged for a cup of coffee (oh, the horror!), Purisima was photographed without his permission by Chinese tourists and then got bitten by a dog (nice one, Fido!). For these (ahem) injustices, he is asking for the grand sum of (wait for it) $2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000 in damages.

Two undecillion Dollars (a two with 36 zeroes after it) is more money than presently exists on the entire planet, of course.

Frankly, we hadn’t seen this many zeroes since the last Conservative party conference...

According to the loony litigator, the dog was rabid (we can only hope) and it bit his middle finger. The funniest thing about this case, then, is that every time Mr. Purisima is asked to present his evidence, he will likely be found in contempt of court.

Defendants named in the suit include the Au Bon Pan store (whose La Guardia airport outlet apparently sells overly expensive coffee), The New York Transit Authority and Hoboken University Medical Center (who may, or may not, have botched some sort of experimental brain surgery upon Purisima. Admittedly, that’s guesswork on my part, but it would certainly answer a lot of questions...)

I mean, who goes to an airport for cheap coffee!? If American airports are anything like their British counterparts, you’d have to take out a second mortgage on your home just to afford a ham and cheese sandwich...

Apparently, his pain and additional damages “cannot be repaired by money”, which seems especially odd considering he is asking for so much of it, really. That’s a bit like saying that hunger can’t be cured by food, whilst queuing up in a McDonalds...

Purisima’s previous activities include attempting to sue The People’s Republic of China (no, really), as well as several major American banking chains.

Purisima filed his (hand written) lawsuit to a federal court in April and is (somewhat unsurprisingly) representing himself. Reports do not say if he was wearing a tutu and honey-glazing his own nipples at the time, but it seems likely.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

I Just Got a Spy Earpiece...Now How Do I Wear it?

In simplest terms, the loop goes around your neck and the small earpiece goes inside of your ear. It is important, however, to ensure that the loop is well concealed, otherwise it can totally give the game away. Wear a high collared shirt or blouse in order to hide the loop around your neck.

The earpiece itself is usually flesh coloured (different shades and skin colours are available), but even if it isn’t, the earpiece is so small that people are unlikely to even notice it.

The microphone needs to be positioned near to your mouth, but not so near that people can see it. Once again, a high collar will be of some service here, because you can place it underneath the collar line (spy earpiece microphones tend to be rather powerful for their size â€" but remember to test the whole setup first before you go into the field). If you happen to be wearing a tie, then so much the better, because the microphone can be easily clipped behind the tie (where it is very unlikely to be noticed).

Next, take the loop (making sure that it is under your clothing) and ensure that you can easily access the battery, beeper button and any other attached gadgets. You can run the battery straight into your pocket, provided your shirt is long enough, or, if you’re feeling particularly clever, you could even cut a small hole inside of your jeans pocket and thread the beeper/battery through the inside of both your shirt and your jeans (this will also work for your phone).

The hardest things to hide will be your attached cellphone or two-way radio. The cell can sit, quite happily, in your pocket (in fact, people generally expect you to be carrying one anyway), but the earpiece’s connection to the headphone socket must not be seen (keep it under your clothes, as discussed above). The two-way radio option is a little more difficult. Two-ways can be hidden on your belt (underneath loose-fitting garments), around your back (again, covered by clothing) or even strapped to your leg. It is definitely harder to hide a two-way, so it isn’t the ideal option for prolonged covert usage.

Finally, we advise you to check the whole thing out in the mirror first. Make sure that outside influences such as wind, rain, pushy crowds or actions such as running to catch a train are not going to expose your subtle setup. If you think you are too exposed, try different permutations on the advice provided, until you find something that works for you.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

We Advise These Sepura Radio Earpieces

If you are looking for an earpiece that doesn't compromise on performance, Sepura have a wide range of products available. Here are some of the most popular Sepura earpiece products .

1. Lightweight headset - STP8X

This headset can be used in low-noise conditions, and comes with an active earpiece - allowing you to listen to the surrounding environment with the other ear. You also get microphone, which can be fully adjusted. The headset can either be worn underneath protective headgear or on its own - providing you with more flexibility. To connect to the radio, use the chest-mounted RSM unit or large button PTT. This product can be used with a NEXUS jack plug (four-pole). Remember - cover of the Rugged Side Connector (RSC) will need to be in place in hazardous environments, or an approved Rugged Side Connector accessory will need to be used and securely connected. Disconnecting a Rugged Side Connector accessory or removing the cover isn't permitted in hazardous environment.

2. EarpieceOnline Acoustic Police Earpiece

This earpiece comes with a clear tube that connects to the ear and has a separate press button to talk. It can be used in a covert or overt role, and comes with a microphone. The product will fit standard police radios from Sepura, including the SRP 2000, 3000, AND 3800, while the PTT block will enable users to wear the radio anywhere on their body, including the belt. You will also be able to mount the block easily. The microphone block and PTT come with a strong and durable metal clip which can be attached to duty vests. In addition, the radio can be worn out of sight in a covert role, and the microphone block and PTT can be used under clothing.

3. STP8X in-ear headset with PTT

This in-ear headset is ideal when used in low-noise conditions, and can be connected to the RSC on the STPX. The headset is used with a NEXUS jack plug (four-pole) and comes with an in-line PTT switch. The environmental rating of the product is IP54, and the storage temperature is -40 to 85 degrees Celsius. The weight of the item is 110 grams.

4. RAC STP in-ear tactical headset

This headset easily fits in the ear, and comes with a speaker functionality and microphone in the same product. The tactical headset features a ring PTT and can be used with a neck cord (users to cover the cord with clothing). The assembly can be terminated with a RAC plug.

5. STP8X SCORPION headset

The SCORPION headset has been designed to be used with protective helmets, making it an excellent choice for civil protection officers, fire brigades, and police officers. It comes with a receiver, microphone, and can be used with a NEXUS jack plug (four-pole). To connect the radio, you can use the large button PTT or advanced RSM. There are also a number of accessories that can be purchased for this product, including adapters for different types of helmet. Please note, unconnected headsets cannot be carried into a hazardous area. The weight of the product is 85 grams.